I knew my girl would make quite an entrance into the world considering I had my heart set on a V-BAC. I didn't know if we would be successful, but I knew for darn sure that I was going to do everything I could to try to make it the birth I had so wanted for my sweet Kiptyn and never got. (To see Kiptyn's Birth Story...click here) Although the birth was lightning short in relation to an average birth, this story is a long one..so grab a cup of tea....
About a month and a half before I was due, I was told that she was laying "low" and that my full-time job of dancing all day might bring her earth side a little bit earlier than expected if I didn't relax and get off of my feet a little more. I knew that if I continued to work then I simply wouldn't be able to stay off my feet (being a dance teacher and sitting down all day isn't the easiest task in the world). My midwife wrote up the letter and I was off of work three weeks before she was due.
I waited....and waited. I spent time with my sweetie pie Kippy as much as I could (even keeping him home from daycare on occasion) knowing that our days alone together would soon be coming to an end. To everyone's surprise, my due date came and went and even though I had been experiencing early labour signs she just wasn't ready to come out to see us quite yet. One week after she was due...she burst (literally) into my arms.
On the evening of November 17th, 2013 Dave, Kiptyn and I went for our last walk as a family of three. We didn't know when our Birdie would be joining us but I remember thinking on this walk how our lives would all be changing so very soon. I am so glad we have these photos only hours before welcoming the newest little Welbourn into the family.
After Kiptyn was settled in for the night, Dave and I decided to watch a few episodes of Breaking Bad. Although I was being cautious about staying up too late for fear of being to tired to go into labour at any given time, I hadn't been feeling much of anything all day and came to the conclusion I would be safe to stay up just this one night...
Around 11:30pm I started to feel the all too familiar mild cramping I had been having for weeks. After a matter of about four minutes of this it started to feel a little more intense (this also happened almost nightly in the middle of the night but by morning was a distant memory) so I didn't think too much of it. Around 11:50am I realized that these intense cramps were actually coming on strong every few minutes so I decided to time them using my Contraction Timer App on my iPhone (yes....I was one of "those"). It only took me until midnight (10 minutes later) to realize that these contractions were 2-3 minutes apart.
I called my Doula Carol (an Angel from Heaven that woman is), and told her what I was feeling. I didn't want to be the "first time mom" who called with every kick or turn, but I also had never been in labour before and I thought that it is better to be "that woman" at midnight than wait until 3-4am to make the call. Carol told me to keep timing and said she would call back in half an hour. Before hanging up she told me that if anything changed before then, I should call her back. Well....ten minutes after that I was once again on the phone telling her that not only were they MUCH more intense, but I was finding it harder to keep talking through them.
Carol came over right away.
By the time she got to our house on a very very eerie night with a crazy wind storm, I was in the jacuzzi tub and although still timing the contractions on my phone (it was more for me to feel in control of the situation at this point than to really know how long or far apart they were), they were strong and painful and took me by complete surprise.
I am not sure what I thought labour would be like, but this wasn't it. It hurt A LOT, but it wasn't necessarily a bad type of pain. I had done a bunch of reading ahead of time trying to prepare myself for labour and how it will feel and affirmations to think about to keep me going when it seemed to get "too much". I knew that with every contraction, the baby would drop and prepare for her entry, and I knew that the more I tried to relax and let it happen...the easier it would be on both of us. I thought about her dropping every time I felt a contraction, and how amazing the experience was, and how I could be in so much pain one minute, and be laughing and joking with my "team" (Carol & Dave, soon to be expanded to include a midwife and my mother) in the next.
Carol decided to call the mid-wife around 1am...about the same time Dave called my Mom to care for Kiptyn just in case we were heading to the hospital before morning. My midwife was not on-call until 8am that morning so I knew that I would have a back-up midwife at least for the beginning of the labour. My back-up midwife ended up being on holidays and the back-up for her was at another birth. I knew when that particular back-up midwife left her other birth and showed up shortly after that (maybe 1/2 hour later) I was progressing fast. I felt it. I could tell. Even though I didn't know a thing about birth, I knew my body, and I knew that I would be meeting my daughter sooner rather than later.
When the midwife arrived, I was still in the tub and she checked me.
4cm
I was more than shocked as I was 4cm with Kiptyn weeks before his due date and didn't feel a thing. How could this be? To me it felt like I was completely ready for baby and yet they were telling me that I wasn't as far along as I had thought. I didn't let the number take over the birth. I knew what I was feeling and I knew that I just had to be in the moment in order to help Birdie make her entry into the world. Back into the tub, back to "horse-lips breathing", and feeling each contraction.
When I was asked if I wanted to try sitting on the toilet to change up the position and let gravity help bring the baby down it didn't thrill me. I thought I'd give it a try despite my hesitation and out of the tub I went. I barely made it to the seat before I had a contraction that threw my body into pushing. I didn't know that was even possible. It was shocking at the same time as magnificent. How my body just knew to do that in that very moment gave me a sense of exhilaration. I will never forget that first push. I was alone in the bathroom with my swollen belly, scared and excited, in disbelief and in awe. I was doing it. I knew I could, and I knew I would...but I didn't know how. What I didn't know in the end was that my body knew all along.
I asked to leave the bathroom as the position seemed to make me feel the contractions even more intensely. I was helped to my bed and since my body seemed to want to push, the midwife checked me again.
10cm
YES! This was it. Part of me wanted that baby in my arms so badly, and another very small part wanted to delight in this life changing, surreal experience that is natural labour.
With each contraction I felt like it couldn't possibly hurt more...and then it did. It was around this point in time when things went from "a little wishy-washy" to out of my body surreal. I don't remember all of the details very well from the night in general but nearing the end of the delivery, almost everything was and still is a blur.
Shortly after the 10cm check, I was told that we HAD to get to the hospital or we weren't going to make it. I already knew at that point that I wasn't going to make it...and not only that but there was absolutely no way I was getting into the car. Never in my life would I have EVER planned a home birth...after all....that was for "hippies". Yes....I really didn't know anything about anything before having my two..because midwives were also for "trail mix" type of women and Doulas were for the strange breed of women who needed an extra hand holding through it all despite the fact that their husband would be right there. Boy have I learned a thing or two along the way....either that or I have just turned completely into a "trail mix Hippy". With each push I remember wondering to myself if the baby would be alright, if I would be okay, and what the heck was I doing delivering at HOME.
My water burst in appropriate fire-hydrant release fashion (sorry for the details) with a single push and only minutes later Maisy was pushed earthside at 4:34am before the second midwife arrived.
I remember the moment she was placed in my arms but I don't remember very much more besides the unreal pain of stitching without freezing. I remember how she didn't cry and when I asked if she was okay, Carol just replied, "Yes Carla, She's just so happy". I remember Maisy looking into my eyes with those soft and repetitive blinks, the sound of her little lips smacking in anticipation of being brought to the breast, and I remember her tiny little fingers wrapped around my one.
She was here.
Home.
In the end, Home was exactly where I wanted to be with her and her Daddy welcoming her into the world. Only a short time after she was born her Big Proud Brother Kiptyn came running into the bedroom to gaze into his sister's eyes for the first time. The beginning of their very special everlasting bond.
After sheets, mattress, carpet and towels were washed up and Kiptyn was safely in daycare for the day proudly wearing his new Big Brother T-shirt, my baby girl (9lbs, 1oz with no name as of yet) and I napped together in the comfort of Home.
Twelve hours later, with both sets of Grandparents surrounding us we announced her name Maisy Ireland Welbourn. Ireland as a tribute to my beautiful Grandmother, and Maisy because it was just "so her".
When I have told the short version of the story to friends and family they have proclaimed me "Superwoman"and other names of prestige status, but I have to tell you...it isn't like that.
Was it hard?
Yes.
Didn't it hurt?
Well yes.
Didn't you want to get an epidural?
It actually never crossed my mind. Before going into labour I questioned time and time again if I would be strong enough. If I would be able to get through without any drugs or help. If I would let down my midwife and Doula who more often than not helped deliver babies naturally without any intervention at all. Being at home I simply KNEW it wasn't an option. In my heart of hearts I didn't want it to be an option. I KNOW that I don't have to "be a hero", or "prove anything to anyone", but to me...I wanted to feel what I so desperately wanted to feel with my first born. I wanted to push my baby into the world and allow my body to do what it was made to do.
I would never judge a woman's parenting style nor would I judge the way they brought their child into the world. We are all so very different. Each baby is different, and every single birth is different however I am BEYOND grateful that I was able to have not only a successful V-BAC but also an H-BAC. Something I didn't even know I wanted. And oh how it has changed me.
This baby girl of mine, she has taught me so many things about myself already. Just as her brother taught me things about myself the moment I had him. Every experience, every birth, and every child is unique and I am so honoured to be a part of it all.
Maisy my darling, You are SO LOVED.
